When it’s cold and miserable outside and I need some comfort food that warms you up and sticks to your ribs, this is one of my go-to recipes. Lashings of flavour, not too much effort and (if you’re lucky) leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Oh, and did I mention it cooks in one pot?
Ingredients
- 2 cups green lentils
- 2 sujuk (decent plump ones)*
- Mushrooms – a good handful, don’t be asking me weights (okay, 150-200g)
- Half a red capsicum, unless your partner doesn’t care, in which case go crazy with the colours
- A handful of sliced leek (whose hand? depends on how much you like leek)
- 6 plump anchovies or 10 stringy ones
- 2 garlic cloves
- Salt and pepper
- Tin of diced tomatoes (alternatively you could steam, peel and dice your own, but f**k that shit, who has the time?)
- 1 cup of stock
- The best tomato paste you can get
* Sujuk is a cured Turkish sausage but you can use chorizo if you can’t get it
Method
Take your 2 cups of green lentils and soak them for at least an hour. I say at least. You could put them in a bowl of water before you go to work or stick’ em in the water and go for a walk. As long as you give them at least an hour.
Oh, probably best to rinse them to get rid of any little bits and pieces; unless you’re playing chip tooth bingo. In which case, carry on.
Chop up your mushrooms and capsicum (that’s a bell pepper for those that call them that).
I don’t care how, you can dice them finely like a chef if you want to show off or hack them with a cleaver. Doesn’t matter because a) we’re not fancy and b) they’re going to be cooked for over an hour so they’ll go nice and soft.
Can I add onions, celery, carrots, blah blah blah? Knock yourself out. 
Slice up your sujuk. Any decent sausage will do. I like sujuk, so I use sujuk.
Bring a medium-sized pot up to heat and throw in a tiny splash of olive oil, the 12 cloves of garlic (sorry, I meant 2. what can I say? I like garlic), the anchovies and add some pepper (although you can add it later if you’re timid).
Once the delightful odour of cooking garlic and pepper starts wafting over you, throw your sliced sausage in.
It will take a few minutes for the outsides to caramelise, so keep stirring from time to time, or be manly and flick your wrist to flip them over. Continue after you’ve bandaged your sprained wrist. I throw in a small amount of red wine (nothing but the finest boxed vintage for me) to add a little kick to the caramelising.
Toss in the chopped capsicum and mushrooms and stir them in.
Strain your lentils well and add them to the pot. Add the diced tomatoes. Add the cup of stock, which you have prepared by slowly rendering the finest free range chicken carcass and vegetables over a carefully regulated heat for a day. Alternatively, use a stock cube, it’s cheaper and easier, but does lack snob value.
Now, and this is actually important so actually pay attention: pour enough water in to make sure that the lentils are covered.
Mix in one or two tablespoons of your best tomato paste. The crappier the paste, the more you’ll need to add as it’s never as concentrated in my experience.
Bring the whole pot to the boil with the lid on.
Once it has started to boil, reduce the heat to simmer, take the lid off and walk away. For real, don’t go poking and probing it like a two year old, the food knows what to do. Every 20 minutes or so, give it a stir and walk away again. After 90-120 minutes, have a taste. The lentils should be soft but not mushy and they will have sucked up most of the water. If they are mushy you can still eat them, just tell your guests they’re having ‘un cassoulet de purée de lentilles’, they’ll think you’re fancy and be too scared to question.
Last steps. Add any salt or pepper to flavour and then serve in bowls. If you’re lucky and your partner will allow bread in the house, serve big torn chunks of crusty bread to sop up the juices – don’t be slicing the bread, that’s just weird.
Enjoy!